My home birth!

A whole month has passed since Lucy was born and each week I tell myself I'm going to find the time to write about having a home birth.  Easier said than done! Until now it has been impossible to find the time or energy to do this. I doff my hat to those who can have babies and busy themselves with admin soon afterwards.

I was as nervous as the next virgin-home birther in the run up to Lucy's birth, telling myself that the option of going to hospital (50 mins away) was a viable one, and that I really didn't mind the idea of travelling by ambulance on all fours, with a midwifes hand up my perineum pushing the baby back in, in the worst case event of a collapsed umbillical cord.   The fact is I worried sick about all that, but equally told myself that there was no reason to suspect that anything would go wrong when I had enjoyed a trouble free pregnancy.  I also had a dose of diamorphine (pure heroin) in a cupboard, courtesy of the pharmacy via the GP as recommended by the midwife "just in case you freak out".  So, in the event of a collapsed umbillical cord, at least I'd be off my head on heroin.

On the day, I woke to find my good friend Camilla Festing of Acuworks had mailed me 4 small acupuncture needles along with a photocopied page from her text book indicating where to stick them, intended to induce labour and help expel the placenta after the birth.  I persuaded Hugo over breakfast to stick them in my feet (cue lots of wailing "I can't go on like this") and I immediately felt calmer and like I was taking control of the situation.  (By now I was 3 days overdue, and having never been overdue in my life, I was not happy).  Just 2 hours later, I had my show and although I couldn't put this down solely to the needles, I felt like they had helped!

I spent the day trying to rest and later that evening, after putting the boys to bed I started to feel quite uncomfortable, to the point that I wasn't interested in eating supper.  Although, I was telling myself that I wasn't hungry because I was excited about things happening, not because things already were happening (which they were!).  By 8.30pm I realised I was contracting every 10-15 minutes and at 9.30pm we called the hospital who said to call back when they were every 5 minutes.  An hour later, with the help of a 'time your contraction app' and with the TENS machine strapped onto my back, zapping me with frequent electric shocks, we called back to say they were now every 3-5 minutes apart "but not lasting a full minute".  I hadn't realised they don't have to last a full minute for it to genuine labour!  This time the hospital replied that since it was my 'first baby', I should wait a little longer and call back when it was more uncomfortable.  "No" I gasped..."not my first baby - this is my third!".  There was a shocked pause at the other end of the phone and the midwife/receptionist leapt into action and said "well in that case we'll send the midwives out right away!" 

Thank god she did, as an hour further along I was now very much doubled over, hanging onto the back of the sofa/Hugo/birthing ball, wondering why all the music I'd downloaded from Spotify was not distracting me to the extent I had hoped (what an amazing app!  I only discovered it in the nick of time thanks to a homebirthing thread on Mumsnet).  The midwives arrived at 11.30pm to my wails of relief and an hour and a half later, to the quiet chatter of the midwives and Hugo in the background, my gorgeous baby girl was born in the sitting room by the light of the woodburning stove to the sound of the rain pattering down on the windows.  It was the calmest, most 'relaxed' birth experience I have experienced (if giving birth without much pain relief - the heroin remained in its packet and the gas and air made me feel really sick-  can be described at all as 'relaxed'!) and following the delivery of the placenta (which was admittedly cannot be described as either 'quick' or 'easy') we all relaxed and a mood of celebration descended.  Mugs of tea were passed around whilst I realised I was completely freezing and put on some lovely fresh clothes, and then after a hot shower in my own bathroom, I was put into bed with some honey on toast, camomile tea and a quite breastfeeding recap.  The midwives were amazing - calm throughout, keeping both me and Hugo relaxed, and efficient when it came to clearing up the mess (amazingly the taupaulin from B&Q did the trick and there was absolutely nothing to clean up once we had got it out of the room). 

Lucy who weighed 8lb5oz was completely quiet on delivery and for 24 hours after, to the point that we worried something was wrong with her, but actually I think she was just quiet because she had nothing to fuss about - she was happy and relaxed and had no trauma or stress with the birth.  Her AGPAR was 9 and 9 (amazing, especially compared with our firstborn who was wrenched out after 36 hour labour with rotational forceps, and whose score was 5, 7).

She has remained over the past 4 weeks, a very calm and relaxed baby - sleeping well (pretty much waking every four hours throughout the night - never waking just to fuss) and I for one am amazed at how easily she has fitted into our family, how well her brothers have accepted her and how I cannot remember life without her.

As for the introduction to her brothers - it was almost completely worth it just for that one moment - it was 7am the following morning when I heard her brothers go to the loo and play together in one of their bedrooms.  I went through and said "do you want to see something really cool?" They both looked up with large eyes and said "yeeees", so I said "come through to our bedroom then" and they were hopping from foot to foot asking "what IS it mum?"  We all went through and our eldest walked smack bang into the moses basket.  "Look in the basket" I said and he looked and then said "Mummy! It's a baby!"

And that was that, they went to bed and there was no baby.  The woke up as usual at half seven and there was a baby - and there was no worry, no stress with childcare, no concern from them that mummy was 'in hospital' (e.g. must be sick) and just like that, a baby appeared in our bedroom.  I cannot believe they didn't hear anything or wake up in the night, but there we go, they didn't and it was all perfect and now our lovely little family is complete.

The heroin went back to the pharmacy - I was delighted not to have to use it (I'm sure it's 100% safe but I had happened upon results from some clinical study to say children of mums who use diamorphine in labour have a higher incidence of drug abuse in their later life) and I was completely delighted at my ability to keep calm and deliver at home in the most natural possible environment.  I definitely believe that there shouldn't be more risk just because you deliver at home, and also that by avoiding the clinical managed setting of a hospital environment, you actually eliminate risk by reducing your own stress and feeling of disempowerment.  So, if you are pregnant and thinking about it, go for it!  Finally, a fab site for inspiring you is the home birth site - just read this and download Spotify and you are half way there!